Rachel Pollon, telling it like it is, was, might be, she wishes

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Working Title: May I Pitch You Just a Few of My TV Show Ideas?

(Originally posted on The Nervous Breakdown.)

Hey guys,

So, I’ve been brainstorming. Rolling around some ideas for a possible – gawd, this sounds, I don’t know, pretentious? – television script to develop. I’ve been trying to figure out which one (ones?) to more fully flesh out. It’s a little hard to be objective about my own work, especially when the subjects are all quite diverse, and I could really use some outside input. I was hoping if you had a few minutes you could give this a read and then offer some feedback. Let me know if something’s not clear, or you think needs expanding, or tightening. Otherwise, I’m pretty confident one or more of these could be keepers. Following are a few super short synopses. I await your responses!

Me!

THE HALF-TIMERS

I can pitch this show in four sentences:

Former football players.
Working part time.
At a clock store.
Dealing with their mid-life crises.

SONGBIRDS

An a cappella troupe made up of three generations of women in the Nightingale family, and their talking parrot, tour the country in their Buick Skylark (or Pontiac Phoenix, whichever gets better ad sales) singing to people in jail who’ve squealed. Also, the youngest Nightingale, Honey, tweets their adventures. Theme song: Fleetwood Mac’s “Songbird” if we can get it.

EAT IT

Clips of people eating things while wiping out, tripping, falling.
Host: The host of “Good Food with Evan Kleiman” Evan Kleiman.

THE THREE Rs

Ralph, Ricky and Rooster love to rock, roll, and rob banks. Also, they are pirates.

ENEMIES

Six twenty-something characters, three men, three women, live apart and don’t interact because they hate each other.

TOUCH ME — will also consider (DON’T) TOUCH ME

Contestants vie to create the most emotionally moving moment without invading the personal space of their judges.

WHERE ARE MY KEYS?

Our hero, Stan, an elderly, habitual drunk driver searches for his keys while his family looks on knowingly. Opening title shot of eldest daughter, Pam, holding keys out with her index finger and thumb winking at camera. (I see this going a minimum of five seasons, guaranteeing syndication, and possibly a tie in with any number of alcohol companies especially if we promise product placement.) Theme song: anything by Alicia Keys.

FAN TAN TIQUE!

Vietnamese émigré Fan Tan Tiq achieves the American dream and opens a tanning boutique in Encino, California. (I see Teri Hatcher making a guest appearance. Possibly when she wanders in accidentally to buy a fan because it’s super hot in the valley.)

I’m also trying to corral the following ideas (and many more!) into shape:

BOOBS
SHHH, I’M TRYING TO HEAR WHAT THEY’RE SAYING (THE EAVESDROP SHOW)
DR. CANNONBALL GOES SPLAT
THE BIBLE: THE MUSICAL (PARTS 1, 2, & 3)

Thanks so much for reading. See you on the comment boards!
(And also, more than likely, on your TV screens this fall — fingers crossed!)

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